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President Windy “Winterstorm” Reaches Peak Power Following Polar Vortex

This week, temperatures plummeted into the negative degrees, but on campus, climate wasn’t the only thing undergoing changes. The frigid weather seems to have prompted a sudden transformation in our beloved university president, leading her to reveal her true identity: Windy Winterstorm.

Tuesday night brought an unpredicted dusting of snow, and we have inside information that this may have been newly crowned snow-queen Windy Winterstorm testing out her powers. Winterstorm was also spotted walking around central campus without a coat or other winter gear during the polar vortex. We urge students to be on the lookout for unusual shapes or sizes of snowflakes or any signs of animated snowmen.

The new ice-based addition to the president’s home is expected to melt with warmer temperatures coming this weekend.

One Comment

  1. Steven L. Steven L. February 4, 2019

    A Haiku for the winter blues:

    Wintersteen, Ice Queen;
    By her sheen, her wintr’y gleam;
    She dances, we freeze!

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