BLACK ENGINEERING BUILDING- Thomas Grub, 18, of Monticello IA, astounded and impressed bystanders with his achievements in the field of Mechanical Engineering on Thursday afternoon. Grub’s roommate, Bert Newton, was introducing Grub to a young woman in Newton’s biology lab, when witnesses state that Grub grabbed the hand of the young woman, Eliza Elliot, enthusiastically shook it, and proudly announced his occupation- that of a Mechanical Engineer.
“Yeah, ME160 was a tough nut to crack,” Grub, freshman at Iowa State University, allegedly continued, “but I hear it only gets easier after that.” The remarkability of Grub’s efforts was not lost on the Iowa State College of Engineering’s 12th Dean, Sarah A. Rajala. “We are proud to announce the nomination of Thomas Grub for the Professional Achievement Citation in Engineering (PACE) Award.” The PACE award is given for superior technical or professional accomplishments in research, development, administration, education, and other engineering activities. “While this is an award we have previously reserved for alumni, especially those actually employed in any sort of engineering field, we feel we must acknowledge Grub’s revolutionary achievements in Calculus 1, Physics 1, and the introductory Mechanical Engineering course,” Rajala continued.
The PACE Award is only the beginning for Grub; there have already been rumblings in the international engineering community that Thomas Grub is on the short list for the Queen Elizabeth Prize for Engineering, more commonly known as the Nobel Prize for Engineering. The QEPE is awarded for ground-breaking innovation in engineering which has been of global benefit to humanity. Needless to say, Grub is more than qualified, and this reporter is more than confident that the award will be added to Grub’s collection in the near future.
“Being a mechanical engineer is tough, but so rewarding,” concluded Thomas Grub. When asked if any of the rewards of his academic endeavours has resulted in a girlfriend, Grub declined to comment.